Read Dr. Chiufang Hwang’s commencement speech for UTHSCSA School of Medicine

On Sunday, May 22, 2016 Dr. Chiufang Hwang will be giving a commencement speech to the graduating class of UTHSCSA School of Medicine.

But you are lucky enough to read the speech now!

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May I be the first fellow alum to address you as “doctor.”

It was nearly a quarter century ago that I sat in those seats on a day like this.  I was very proud, as you all should be right now.  Finally, I was receiving that Doctor of Medicine degree and that hard-earned diploma.  For me, this ceremony was especially significant because up until that day, I only had a high-school diploma.  I started school here after three years of undergraduate studies.

You’ve worn your white coats since your first semester.  Today, you’ll put away your waist-length white coats because your new ones will extend all the way down below your knees.  That’s a mark of growth!

And that long white coat symbolizes the power of knowledge you’ve acquired here with the responsibility to go out into this world and HEAL people, in whichever specialty you choose.  At such a moment, it’s natural to feel invincible.  From my point of view as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, I’ve seen many teenagers wearing these cloaks of invincibility.  They’re young and strong, and they’re sure they can do just about anything and not get harmed.

Likewise, medical education gives us doctors the enormous power to heal people, our patients.  But what I realized during my career is that no matter how much knowledge you’ve gained or how skillful your hands – even if you become the best surgeon – you just can’t escape being human.  We doctors are not machines.  We might seem and feel superhuman at times, but we are more human than not.

Sadly, doctors often fail to take care of their own bodies, and then try to heal others.   The truth is that we can succumb to the same diseases and illnesses as our patients, and we might even end up worse than those we treat.

For me, it happened early on and caught me by surprise.  During my fellowship, I went to the university clinic one afternoon because my eyes were getting itchy and inflamed which I attributed to allergies.  I was first seen by the resident, then fellow, then when the faculty attending physician examined me even more thoroughly I sense from his body language that this was more serious.  I was diagnosed with glaucoma and treatment started immediately. I thought this was a disease that old people get.  I was only 29 years old.

A few years ago, my knuckles and fingers began to swell and then I couldn’t remove my ring when I was washing my hands.  There was swelling in my other joints as well.   On a blood draw, we found elevated levels of anti-CCP (a specific marker), positive rheumatoid factor, elevated sed rate (ESR).   Since the onset had been slow and once again insidious, I didn’t know I had rheumatoid arthritis.

So two chronic illnesses, no cure for either, but with daily medications for treatment, my symptoms have not worsened. What saddens me the most is that some of my classmates with whom I shared lecture halls and gross anatomy lab; those who sat next to me during all these classes, have died before their time.   What a terrible shame to spend all these years in medical school, learning about our bodies, and then we don’t even take care of our own bodies.

Doctors:  we are not invincible.  We must take the time to take care of ourselves because you can’t effectively take care of others if you neglect yourself.  Still, there are times when physical treatment doesn’t solve the ailment.  Through the years, I have come across illnesses that cannot be healed physically.  There is no logic to explain why this patient has been afflicted with this terrible disease.  My own sister was found to have acute lymphocyctic leukemia at age two, had a successful treatment on clinical trials, then died suddenly at age 13, while I was in medical school.

Human suffering causes our minds to generate feelings of anger, fear, and pain.   Regardless of what happens to the body, true healing take place in the mind – the calming effects of healing our souls.   As a physician, wife, mother of two sons and an immigrant, I have always had to overcome adversity.   I have found healing through writing – now authoring two autobiographical books and a third book in progress.

You are here to heal and you are your most important patient.  Be vigilant about your own health first.  And when you sense you have a problem, embrace it because it will make you a better healer.

My fellow Doctors, my message to you: HEAL thyself first, so you can heal others.